Mother!
I am a mother! Just saying this even now, 9 months on still feels so surreal, feels so grown up.
I’m not sure exactly when this feeling hit me, but I do remember suddenly feeling incredibly protective of my baby even when she was just a bump. It had only been a matter of a few days after finding out that we were expecting a little baby. I remember driving when a car swerved towards me recklessly forcing me to slam down on my brakes and my first reaction was to shield my belly with my hand. The anger that went through me was more than any road rage I would have felt in the past; it wasn’t about me it was about the safety of this tiny soul inside me, completely dependent on me. At once I realised how much I loved her before I had even met her.
This is what I understood to be unconditional love, I had not seen her, I didn’t know what her personality would be like, I don’t know what she will become all I knew is that I love her and would do anything to protect her. My love for her grew with each day of my pregnancy.
Finally, the day had arrived, it was happening, I was in labour (aptly named). My baby girl was ready to come out. I had carried her in my belly for 9 months (and 10 days) and now I was eager to carry her in my arms. After a gruelling active labour of 13hrs (47 hrs in total, post for another time) there she was, a teeny tiny beautiful little human.
The very first time I held her, I felt a powerful rush of warmth go through my entire body, her energy was so beautiful, I could feel it when she was still inside me but even more now that she was in my arms, there was a face to go with the feeling.
As the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, motherhood has completely enthralled my life, I mean how are we already approaching 10 months? My schedule is planned by her schedule, this job is not for the faint hearted. Yet no matter how tired I may be when my baby girl looks into my eyes and gives me a smile, I get a burst of energy that gets me through the day. All the pain and exhaustion is forgotten (for a while at least).
The word mother is no different from love. I knew this a long time ago from everything that my own mother has done for me, yet I only understood it when I became a mother myself. The sacrifice we make for our baby is immense and yet it is done without even giving it a seconds thought. The nights when I have been up with her consoling her when she’s coughing only reminded me of the number of times my mother did this for me. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful role model to guide me through this beautiful chapter of life. Not just for my mother but my wonderful friends who are going through their own motherhood journeys who have given great advice and support from their individual experiences.
Mother is not just any name it is a title. A title that I am now privileged to have and join a tribe of women who have selflessly put their all into raising and moulding the lives of the next generation.
